Thursday, December 11, 2008

juxtaposition

As soon as you change your Facebook status to 'engaged', the ads start coming. Lose weight, fatty! Give me money to 'manage' your wedding for you! Don't you want wedding photos of you and your generic groom in front of a sunset? We can make it happen!

Then this conjunction of ads came up today and I had to take a screenshot:



The best thing about this is the tagline "Guilt free shopping." Yes, there will be no consequences of using this credit card! February 2009 is ages away! Only takes 5 minutes to apply because we won't ask you any rude, nosy questions about whether or not you can afford to pay it off. Don't worry, the debt consolidators will take care of all that!

And sandwiched in the middle, an invitation to spend some dough on your Special Day. Possibly guilt-free.

Monday, December 1, 2008




Meg over at A Practical Wedding just posted some Wedding Rules which made me think about mine. When we sat down to talk about our wedding, it was pretty easy because we felt the same about nearly everything. Our main goal is to be comfortable, happy and relaxed on our wedding day. Here are the rules by which we are planning our wedding:

1. No wedding colours. Meg had this as one of her rules, and it sounds like she's copped a bit of flak about it. I've had a few people express concern that we haven't chosen colours, too. But here's the thing about colours: they are seductive, and they are dangerous. If you choose teal, then you will be more likely to burst into tears when the table runners you ordered are too green; you will also be more likly to make impulse purchases because "it's so cute, and it's in our colours!" Not having wedding colours is part of our theory that the more you strive for perfection, the more stressed you will become, and the more disappointed you will be with little flaws. I want our wedding to be colourful, but I don't need it to be perfectly matched.

2. No creepy oversharing, references to ecstasy or bliss, or "nod nod wink wink" stuff in the ceremony. That stuff is weird.

3. Related: no garter toss. I HATE this.

4. No uncomfortable clothes. I wouldn't wear high heels or a corset to your wedding, so why would I wear one to mine?

5. No video. We'll be asking our friends to take photos (as if we could stop them) but we really don't need or want a film of the wedding.

6. No speeches.

7. No "first dance."

8. No registry.

9. As little as possible should be purchased just for the wedding. No special knife to cut the cake, no special glasses for the toast, no 'heirloom handkerchief' (note to sellers of wedding crap: you can't buy an heirloom. It becomes an heirloom once the buyer has passed it on to his or her descendants. There's a clue right there in the name!). Clothes and will be able to be worn again; glasses will be rented; if we decide on favours, they will be something people might actually keep, as opposed to photos of us in pewter frames.

10. No going into debt. If we can't afford to pay cash, we don't get it.



P.S. The blurb for that toilet paper pictured above promises that not only will this product "bring a smile", wedding guests "will be amused and amazed with your attention to every detail when they discover...even the toilet paper has a wedding theme!" Well, if it's going to impress my guests, I guess it's worth the $10 a roll. But can I get it in my wedding colours?!?