Sunday, May 3, 2009
it is done!
We're married! And it was wonderful.
Okay, I'm going to write about EVERYTHING. Partly because I feel like going over it all again, partly because I want you all to know, and partly so I can go back and read it when I've forgotten most of it (in about 6 months, probably). And now that I'm an old married lady I can give advice with even greater authority (and pomposity), and tell you from the vantage-point of Experience exactly how you should run your wedding. You lucky readers!
Anyway, I'll start with the day before.
This was kind of awful, mostly. Robert had to work and I had the day off, and I was running around trying to organise various things (getting a new car stereo so we could have music on the trip down to our honeymoon, picking up our wedding favours [more on them later], dropping stuff off at my parents, etc). I felt very anxious and I just wanted the whole stupid thing to be over. The nicest part was going to my parents' house to drop off the favours. They were very busy making food and cleaning the house, but we sat down and had a cup of tea and I took a deep breath. It made me feel so much better to see them, and see how lovely the house and the garden were looking.
Just a side note, here: we had the reception at my parents' house, and they were AMAZING. They took a week off work to work on the house and the garden, as well as many weekends before that. They made almost all of the food themselves, and worked so hard at the wedding making sure that everyone had food and drinks. They did an incredible job and I was so, so happy. To be honest it really made the day even more special, because so much love had gone into it.
Anyway, back to the dreaded Day Before. I hadn't really realised how anxious I was until Robert got home. I said, "I need a cuddle", but when we went into the bedroom I remembered that I had stripped all the bedlinen to wash it. SO I BURST INTO TEARS. Robert, understandably confused, was very soothing and gentle and sensible and made me feel much better, but that's the level of stress I was feeling. All of which now makes me realise how much worse I would have been if it had been a huge production with bridesmaids and waltzes and so on.
That evening, we were having dinner with friends. While we had several lovely friends flying in from interstate, the others had family in Perth; Ive, our Best Friend, was coming in from Victoria just for the weekend, and Tim came all the way from New Hampshire, USA, to see us get hitched. We knew we wouldn't get a lot of time with them at the wedding, so we decided to have dinner on the Friday night.
I really wasn't feeling like going out; I wanted to curl up under the covers and vibrate with anxiety. But it really did end up being the best possible thing. If you were to ask me what you should do the night before your wedding, I would strongly advise a relaxed dinner with friends. I felt so happy and loved and supported and calm.
The next morning we both woke up feeling nervous and edgy. We had breakfast (I couldn't eat much) and mooched around the house. We had heaps of cleaning to do, because our friends Liz and Tim were house- and rabbit-sitting while we were away, but we couldn't bring ourselves to do anything constructive. In the end we sat in front of our computers playing games on the internet, Picross for me and Uno for Robert. Romantic! Eh, it was better than rushing around between hairdresser and beautician.
At around 11:30 our friends Liz and Tim arrived. We had decided to get ready in our house, together. At first this worried me a bit. I felt like we 'should' be getting ready alone, and then hiding till I walked down the altar, so he could see me for the first time at the altar and blah blah blah. In the end we decided not to, for a couple of reasons:
1. We were getting married on the grounds of a University, which meant that in order to avoid Robert and the guests, I would have to skulk around the Physics toilets or something.
2. My mum was busy getting ready for the reception, I didn't want to drive at all on the day (a VERY wise decision, I would have driven straight into a tree) and I didn't want to ask people to chauffeur me around.
3. If I was separated from Robert all morning, I would be wound up to an unbearable pitch by the time I saw him at the altar and probably would have burst into tears.
4. It's stupid.
So our valiant and wonderful friends came over to help us get ready. Liz was doing my hair, which deserves a post to itself, so I won't dwell on it here. Having them over was another thing I was worried about (actually it would be more efficient to make a list of things I wasn't worried about: 1. Bat attacks. 2. Drought. 3. Tapeworms) but again, it turned out to be wonderful. I was able to chat to Liz which she did my hair and Tim talked to Robert and kept him occupied. We shamefully used Tim by sending him out to get rolls for our lunch, even though I was convinced I would be too anxious to eat. As it turned out, poor Tim got lost on the way back and was very late, which turned out to be a blessing because I was starving and managed to wolf down not only my roll with peanut butter but half a packet of Tim-Tams which we had planned to leave for Liz and Tim when they house-sat. Here is some good advice: try to eat something before the wedding, especially if you are not having a sit-down dinner, because you won't get to eat anything for ages.
Oh, and here was a lovely little extra keeping the butterflies at work in my stomach: after an unusually warm and sunny start to autumn, it had started raining on and off the day before, and was sprinkling while Liz and Tim were at our house. Getting us ready for our outdoor wedding. EEP.
Posted by Jessica McLeod at 7:07 PM